I was sat in the wreckage of my car and I can remember my first thought was " It's not even 6 months old yet!".
I had come to a rest in lane 3 and, whilst I waited for an impact from behind, I saw the car that had just hit me. He had pulled up, just off lane 1, under a fly over about 60ft from where I sat.
I watched the driver calmly get out and retrieve the spare from the boot of the car. He carried it to the front of the car to the tyre that had blown out. He carried it, not rolled it. Carried a spare wheel!?!
Slowly my fingers began to unclench the steering wheel. I know I had let go of the wheel at some point. Yet immediately after I had come to a stop my hands were gripping on so hard to what remained of the steering wheel, my knuckles were white.
I reached to the stereo system to bring up the phone controls, but there was no power. I would later learn that the car had a safety device installed which disconnected the battery using small charges, if it detected a severe impact.
The other driver was now pulling his damaged wing off the blown out tyre. Incredible. Cars were now beginning to weave their way around the wreckage of my car. No-one had checked on me.
I needed to phone Laura, so I opened the centre console to retrieve my mobile. I then spent 20 seconds trying to close it again as the catch wouldn't engage. This was mainly because the force of the impact had twisted the interior of the car.
I hadn't checked myself over. My hands ran over my body, whilst I craned to see my reflection in the rear view mirror. A small cut to the forehead, bleeding well. A sore neck and shoulder, but that was it.
I got out of the car, pushing hard against the twisted door, and sat on the barrier. I reached into my pocket for a cigarette and phoned Laura.
"What time will you be back? You better not be late, we're out tonight....." her words on answering the phone. "Laura, there's been an accident. I'm OK, I think....I have to phone the police....I'll phone you when I know more. I love you."
There was silence, then sobs hard to hear over the noise of passing vehicles.
"I love you so much, you better be alright...I need you. Phone me in 5 minutes. I love you".
I never felt so loved as at that moment.
A hand appeared in front of my face. It belonged to a police officer.
His patrol car had been sat on the flyover and he and his partner had seen everything.
He made sure I was OK and led me to the patrol car.
"I'll light that cigarette for you in a moment, but first we need to do a breath test. It's standard procedure, don't worry about it."
"I don't smoke" I said, watching his confused reaction. I don't know why I had the cigarette in my mouth. I always carried a packet, for customers. As I said, I had a different persona for every customer.
The breath test passed (drink driving has always been a serious bug bear), and I was on the phone to the vehicle management company. As soon as I mentioned the police the call handler asked me to hand the phone over to the nearest officer.
I didn't speak to them again that night. The Officer told me, as he hung up, that the car would be retrieved and a replacement vehicle would be delivered to the hospital. If I was not fit to drive, I was not to worry as the delivery vehicle would take me and the car back home.
"That's some service you have got there" he said passing me the phone.
"But I'm not going to hospital" I replied.
Both officers were now in the patrol car with me. They were both congratulating the way I had handled the car and how I had avoided a much worse multiple vehicle incident.
I can't remember any of it, but I would hazard a guess that it was more about the car and the design of the barriers than me.
The Ambulance arrived.
The paramedic had insisted that I had a collar fitted and that I was boarded. He spoke so quietly and quickly, with so much enthusiasm. I just couldn't be bothered though, I needed to phone Laura.
"hey the A&E we're going to has a consultant who shares your surname. Perhaps you'll get special treatment" he laughed.
"seeing as he is my brother, I think that will it be more about taking the mick than anything else".
All I got for the rest of the journey was stories of admiration for my brother.
Don't get me wrong I am proud of him, and his achievements, but this paramedic was beginning to step on my sister-in-law's toes.
I phoned Laura and gave her the update, much to the paramedics annoyance. He did offer to hold the phone to my ear.
Andy had not been on duty, but the reception clerk had kindly warned him of my imminent arrival in his department. He arrived shortly after I did.
As soon as he saw me I could see the anguish disappear from his face, only to be replacd by a mischievous grin. The git had me where he could have some fun at my expense. As soon as he git the all clear from X-Ray, he started the embarrass my little brother routine.
It was like the time I got bitten by a ferret and he insisted I had a tetanus booster whilst I was there. He prepared an audience of just about every member of staff he could find.....git!
(The last two occasions I have had to visit A&E myself, and both times it has had to be his A&E department. I wouldn't mind but we live over 100 miles apart!)
I was discharged and given a leaflet explaining the effects of whiplash.
Sure enough, a replacement car arrived on a delivery truck. A brand new Land Rover Discovery. Good choice.
Also, the driver was more than happy to deliver both me & car back home.
Laura was waiting for me, with Mark there anxious to see me.
I told them the story over & over again. Answering the same questions time after time. All I wanted to do was sleep.
I realised my wallet, laptop briefcase and car fax were all stills in the vehicle. This was now at an insurance brokers compound some 50 miles away.
The next day I took Laura with me, to retrieve my belongings from the wreck. Mark came too.
Laura sobbed when she saw the car, hitting my chest she said "look at it. You should be dead!"
I cleared my belongings, and then took them for lunch at the local mall.
Aching I drive us home. That night Laura made love to me like never before. It was sensual, tender, passionate and amazing. I joked that I should try driving the Discovery off a cliff.
"You just try it buddy" she said.
I felt great, apart from the aches. I fell asleep smiling for the first time in ages.
To be continued.
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